My Fears About Giving Birth

So this time around I have fears about giving birth. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I have time to really think about it unlike last time. 

Early in my pregnancy I had a feeling that this would be a hard one but couldn't figure out why. Then I started to have a very strong feeling that I would end up having a C-section. This is the farthest thing that I want. I want to have an all natural birth just like I did with Monkey. Monkey's birth was so easy and truthfully I don't remember being in pain at all. Now, I would describe birth as being uncomfortable for sure but not painful. My midwife then told me that I was made for child birth because of how well I did. I also found out that I have something called 'silent labor' which means that I don't feel contractions until it's almost time to push. Good for me but also scary because I won't have time to sit in traffic to make it to the hospital.

Here I am at 8 centimeters right after they broke my water. Looking nice and comfortable.

A few weeks ago I shared my fear of a C-section with my doula. We talked through it and we prayed. We prayed that if God was really giving me this feeling to prepare me for the situation then to let Him show me that it was truly his will. We also prayed that if it was an evil attack against me that God would over come it and that I would no longer have fear that was not needed. Well, I'm happy to say that after praying (which I should have done myself many months ago) I no longer have this nagging feeling that this is what is in our future. Obviously, we need to prepare for all options, unlike what we did last time, just in case but I'm excited to know that God has other plans and that He overcame the evil attack on my emotions. 

So that's not my only fear. This one is slowly not as scary as I get farther along because my fear is that I will deliver early. At least if I deliver now, baby Pilot should be completely healthy. I still think he is going to come before July 25th but we will have to see when that happens. I keep telling him he has to wait until after the 15th. No earlier because I have to much going on between now and then that he just needs to stay and bake through it. 

Here is baby Rex right after birth. All 8lbs 7oz and 22 inches!

I have one other fear and that is that I won't be ready. This time around we are not taking any birthing classes because we know what we need to do but on the other hand we haven't been practicing like we did last time. We are suppose to be meeting with my doula and she has been out of town and I haven't gotten a return phone call since she has been back. This freaks me out because she was so important last time to an easy birth with Monkey. Then there is the fact that the house just isn't ready. I shared a little bit about this here but really I still have a bunch of things to get done.

I guessing that my fears are probably pretty common among pregnant women, but I'm starting to feel better and better about my birth plan. I'm excited to have another new baby soon, however, I'm not ready for my last pregnancy to be over with. Even with this 100 degree weather we have been having I'm not ready to give it up.