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Where MY Jesus Lives


Where does MY Jesus live? 

It all depends on me. He's always there at the door of my heart waiting to be let in. 

Do I open it in the morning and invite Him in walk with me?

Do I open the door but stand in the doorway so He can't fully be inside my heart? Keeping Him at arm lengths away. 

Do I wait until I have had enough of things just going wrong before I throw the door open wide and ask why He hasn't been here helping? 

It's a daily choice. It's a hour choice. Sometimes it's an every second choice. But He's there waiting to be invited in. 

I think trying times are the hardest to remember to invite Him in. I think trying times it's sometimes easier to get lost in everything going on around that we forget to invite Him in. 

We all go through trying times. My family has had their fair share of them. The one time that trumps all others is when Hubby was in the hospital for 26 days, Monkey ate peanut butter M&M's and also ended up having emergency gallbladder surgery (2 separate hospital trips within the 26 days) and I was 6 months pregnant with Goose. Those 26 days in 2012 were some of the hardest days I have had to live. They are by far the most stressful days that I can ever remember in my entire life. During this time we also had to move because having our provider in the hospital made it so that we could not continue to make the monthly rent payment.

I had a great support system during these trying times. I had family and friends that stepped up more that I could have asked for. Being there for me and my family, babysitting when needed and bring meals and gift cards for us. 

But where was my Jesus living during this time? Deep inside my heart! He was there the whole time! Each and every trying second of the day. I had an overwhelming peace the entire time! Even when I had to walk next to my 3 year old as he was rolled into the OR where he would have surgery I wasn't panicking. 

Everyone around me was concerned about my health and the health of our little baby. I had people all around the world praying for my little family and worrying for me. I remember people asking me when they would stop by to visit or help and ask how I was doing. I would simply say, "I'm OK." Some knew me well enough to know I was speaking the truth, that I was really OK. That I was resting in the arms of my Jesus. Others were skeptical about it, thinking I was just saying that but really I must not really be OK. But I was.

I was OK going through the situation because I knew that Jesus was right there with me walking with me. I knew He had his hand on the situation and I knew that He working in our hearts as we were walking through these trying times. 

There is no way that I would have been able to make it through that time without Him. I need Him living and breathing in me every day! Some days I'm much more accepting of Him and other days I push Him away. I can tell the difference too. 

The days He's close I have more patience with the boys, I get more accomplished throughout the day and I'm happier to be around. I'm not overly exhausted by the end of the day because He has been carrying my heavy load for me. 

The days that I push Him away (consciously or unconsciously) I have frustrated with the boys. I get angry easily and I end up hurting my boys precious little hearts. I'm very unproductive and normally spend the day wasting my time by watching TV, reading a book that has no depth, or spending all my time on facebook. I'm exhausted by dinner time and haven't even accomplished anything that should make me tired. And I know it's because I'm carrying my own stuff. I'm carrying my grumpy attitude. I'm carrying my guilt for not getting things done. I'm carrying my guilt of getting angry with the boys. 

Every day we need Jesus to be deep within us to get us through the day! It doesn't matter if it is day where everything seems to be out of place like I described above or if it is just a normal day of playing around the house. 

Where is YOUR Jesus today? I'm making sure MY Jesus is close. Getting up at 4 am and not sleeping most of the night is going to make today a more trying day. But I know that if I keep Jesus close and let him carry my stuff that I will get through the day and it will be a good day. And I know He already saw today coming because He has placed a easy dinner before us tonight so that's one less responsibility I have today!

Here's the link to the post that lead me to write this one. 

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