I have been posting a bunch about what I believe a wife needs to do to fulfill her purpose as a Godly wife. I am trying to do my best, with a lot of God's help, to become the wife that he has called me to be. However, I don't want anyone to think that this means that I'm a door mat or anything else to my husband.
To tell you the truth I get everything I want pretty much! My husband would find a way to give me the moon if I asked for it. He is super sweet and loves me and Rex so much. I know all this is true through his words and actions. He also respects my opinion and seeks my advice on most things he does. When he's seeking a new job, selling a vehicle, investing, or even just making plans to go out with the guys. He wants to make sure that I'm included in the decision making but he and I both know that when it comes time to actually make the decision that he is the one that has to do it and that I trust him completely!
He works in a job that he doesn't particularly care for to make sure we have the money to make our bills and provide us with the best he can. He has goals and is working towards them to make sure that we have a better life. He comes home every night and hangs out with me in the kitchen while I'm cooking talking to me (this is something new he's started since I started making the changes I have posted about). He takes Rex to the park and to do things that Mommy would cringe if she knew or watched everything he was allowed to do. But what are daddy's for if not to let their little boys explore.
To tell you the truth I get everything I want pretty much! My husband would find a way to give me the moon if I asked for it. He is super sweet and loves me and Rex so much. I know all this is true through his words and actions. He also respects my opinion and seeks my advice on most things he does. When he's seeking a new job, selling a vehicle, investing, or even just making plans to go out with the guys. He wants to make sure that I'm included in the decision making but he and I both know that when it comes time to actually make the decision that he is the one that has to do it and that I trust him completely!
He works in a job that he doesn't particularly care for to make sure we have the money to make our bills and provide us with the best he can. He has goals and is working towards them to make sure that we have a better life. He comes home every night and hangs out with me in the kitchen while I'm cooking talking to me (this is something new he's started since I started making the changes I have posted about). He takes Rex to the park and to do things that Mommy would cringe if she knew or watched everything he was allowed to do. But what are daddy's for if not to let their little boys explore.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh to them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Colossians 3:18-20
These are the instructions that we get from the Bible on living in a God centered home. This is what I strive for in my household. Living with a non-believer sometimes makes it difficult but I know that I'm his greatest witness and that if I follow what I need to do then he will see Christ's light through me. God has promised me that.
Even though my husband does not believe in God right now he does believe in marriage. He believes that when you get married you stay married. If your marriage is struggling to seek help and get answers and work on it to make it strong again. He believes that he is the head of the household and I am to follow his lead. He believes that I'm suppose to be at home raising our child and to take care of the home. He believes that he is to love me unconditionally no matter what. He believes that I do need his support in many areas and he gives it to me. He believes that I need my alone time and his help with Rex and that it is his duty as a dad to do it. He believes that our home should look like the above verse although he would not put it in a verse. It's just want he wants our home to be like.
We should meet our husbands needs! Even if ours aren't getting met. We need to love our husband and show them our hearts and Jesus' love!
At the same time our husbands should be doing the same! Our husbands should meet our needs! Even when they are not getting theirs met. They need to love us and show us their hearts and Jesus' love!
It's a two way street. Sometimes it may seem like it's not and that you are doing all the work but trust me when I say I have been there. I know what if feels like to "do all the work" and have "no support". But the truth is that when I was feeling this way it was because my focus was on me! I was focused on what I needed and wanted and not what I should be doing to give my husband what he needed. Once my thought process changed and I started thinking about what my husband needs and put it into action things changed. I wasn't focus on myself! I was focused on serving!
then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other,be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself.He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what.Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human!Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless,obedient death-and the worst kind of death at that: a crucifixion.
Philippians 2:2 (MSG)
We need to be servants to one another in our household but also outside our household. That is what Jesus did and isn't our ultimate goal as Christ followers to be like him and follow his example? Because I'm writing about my life and what I'm doing it tends to be one sided, wife sided. It does not mean that I don't believe in the other side, husband sided, it's just not something that I always think about. Also I really don't know what it is to live with a husband who trusts and listens to God instructions. I don't know what it is like to have a Spiritual leader of a household. My dad was not one and neither is my husband. But that doesn't mean that I get to slack off on my side of the deal and just live in the world and just say "Well this is all I can do in my circumstances, maybe things would have been different if my husband was a believer." That's a cop out and I'm not going to do it.
Please know that I will write more about the things that I'm doing to change my home and my life. These changes I'm making are to glorify God and lift him up and have nothing to do with being the perfect wife. My husband didn't marry a Stepford wife and even though he might joke at times that it might have made life easier HE CHOOSE ME!!! He means that world to me and if God has asked me to be the best wife that I can be to him that is what I'm going to do!
On a side note I just sent this post to him. He has access to read my blog whenever he wants but he doesn't for whatever reason. I wanted him to be able to see my heart and how much I love, respect and honor him.
Great reminder, and I am sure that he will appreciate the love and respect this post shows for your relationship.
ReplyDeleteJust remember that this blog is your space for your opinions, thoughts and words so there is no reason for you to defend what you talk about – however as with any blog you will have different opinions and thoughts from readers, use those to drive your posts! ;)
ReplyDelete@Chrissy thank you for your encouraging words. I was really nervous about sharing it with him but he sent a text back saying that it was very sweet. I'm very happy he liked it and I hope to be able to talk to him about it when he gets home.
ReplyDelete@Censie I know that but I want to make sure people know that I have other sides to me and other views. I also want them to know that my views are what work for me and that they won't fit everyone. The funny thing is I started writing this because of a comment or two that you posted. It made me think that I needed to share the other side. Thanks for the inspiration!
Well I hope I didn’t offend you but you are right everyone has different views and practices and they will not work for everyone. I am happy to hear that the hubs takes care of you as well, it is a huge part of marriage to have both sides caring for one another. Unfortunately there seems to be a large group of women lately (especially in the blogging world) that are stepping backwards through Woman’s Lib and going back to the 1950’s typical housewife lifestyle. I would hope that these woman research heavily (and not just in the BIBLE!) over the heartache, abuse, and unhappiness that occurred in the 40’s and 50’s for married woman. I would hate to see our rights (everyone with a vagina) to lose out on the opportunity to be a woman with rights, their own thoughts, freedom and happiness. I am in no way saying you and your marriage is anything like this but just an observation of some other blogs that I have read recently. As long as you are truly happy that is what matters!
ReplyDeleteGlad you found some inspiration in yours and others writings.
I don't offend easily as long as it comes from kindness and I know anything you would say is not to be mean. I have read a lot of blogs that are embracing the role that I feel God calls us to be however I don't think that it means that we loose the rights that we should have. I don't think we should have to live the way that people did before we got rights but I also think it opened up a whole new world and added a lot of stresses on women that we don't need and weren't created to handle. I think we need to be respected and have the right to make choices (this is America after all) but I just choose to accept the ways of being at home and enjoying the homemaking experience and everything that is involved in it.
ReplyDelete