There are some days, like the one I'm having today, that makes having faith a hard thing to trust in. I have shared before that my hubby doesn't want any more kids and that I do. I have always felt that we would have four kids and I have been counting on God to provide us the kids He wants us to have.
Today I took Goose to the hematologist to get his blood checked to find out if he has the same blood disorder as Monkey. With Monkey we knew when he was just a few months old what he had but didn't get the actual diagnosis until he was a year old. With Goose they tested him after birth and everything was fine. He has been developing on track and showing no signs of HS.
At Goose's last check up they did a blood draw to test for everything again as a final make sure everything is OK blood test. Well it came back with some abnormalities. I figured everything was fine that they were just being over cautious and made an appointment with our hematologist.
Well that was today and although we do not have an official answer yet she believes he has the same thing. Granted it is a much milder form and she may never have to see him again for anything other than check ups and that is not where my having faith has been questioned.
See, I always wanted more kids and after Monkey I questioned it just a little with his diagnosis. After Goose I have never questioned it thinking he came out perfectly healthy so Monkey was just a fluke. Well now I'm being told that we have at least a 1 in 4 chance that any other kids will have HS because we at least have the gene dormant in one of us. But since we have never been tested ourselves one of us could actually have a very mild form of HS which would mean that if we were to have any more kids that there is a 50/50 chance they would have HS.
This is where having faith come in. I wholeheartedly believe in God! I completely trust Him with my life and to guide me wherever I need to go. I trust that He makes each and every life here on Earth and has a purpose for them. I believe that He only lets you go through things that you can handle (of course you have to turn to Him for the strength to get through them).
So with these beliefs how can I question God's plan for my life? My hubby's life? My kids lives? Both the kids I already have and the ones that I feel we are meant to have?
I have so many questions, feeling, thoughts running through my head all at once. I have no idea how to sort through them. I know I don't have the answers to them all and I'm sure that God will only revival a few of them. He's going to require that I trust Him and have faith in His plan but He is the only one I can turn to for the answers that I'm seeking. He is the only one that can comfort me through these thoughts. But I know that I can not be the only one that has gone through things like this. I'm sure that there are many people out there that have harder stories than what I have been through, but I write this looking for support from others that have been through struggles in regards to having faith through tough decisions but I also write this for those that haven't gone through something yet so that they my seek some comfort in knowing that they aren't alone when their trials come up.
Today I took Goose to the hematologist to get his blood checked to find out if he has the same blood disorder as Monkey. With Monkey we knew when he was just a few months old what he had but didn't get the actual diagnosis until he was a year old. With Goose they tested him after birth and everything was fine. He has been developing on track and showing no signs of HS.
At Goose's last check up they did a blood draw to test for everything again as a final make sure everything is OK blood test. Well it came back with some abnormalities. I figured everything was fine that they were just being over cautious and made an appointment with our hematologist.
Well that was today and although we do not have an official answer yet she believes he has the same thing. Granted it is a much milder form and she may never have to see him again for anything other than check ups and that is not where my having faith has been questioned.
See, I always wanted more kids and after Monkey I questioned it just a little with his diagnosis. After Goose I have never questioned it thinking he came out perfectly healthy so Monkey was just a fluke. Well now I'm being told that we have at least a 1 in 4 chance that any other kids will have HS because we at least have the gene dormant in one of us. But since we have never been tested ourselves one of us could actually have a very mild form of HS which would mean that if we were to have any more kids that there is a 50/50 chance they would have HS.
This is where having faith come in. I wholeheartedly believe in God! I completely trust Him with my life and to guide me wherever I need to go. I trust that He makes each and every life here on Earth and has a purpose for them. I believe that He only lets you go through things that you can handle (of course you have to turn to Him for the strength to get through them).
So with these beliefs how can I question God's plan for my life? My hubby's life? My kids lives? Both the kids I already have and the ones that I feel we are meant to have?
I have so many questions, feeling, thoughts running through my head all at once. I have no idea how to sort through them. I know I don't have the answers to them all and I'm sure that God will only revival a few of them. He's going to require that I trust Him and have faith in His plan but He is the only one I can turn to for the answers that I'm seeking. He is the only one that can comfort me through these thoughts. But I know that I can not be the only one that has gone through things like this. I'm sure that there are many people out there that have harder stories than what I have been through, but I write this looking for support from others that have been through struggles in regards to having faith through tough decisions but I also write this for those that haven't gone through something yet so that they my seek some comfort in knowing that they aren't alone when their trials come up.
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