His & Her Roles

In our Bible study group we are talking each week about a Proverb and a controversial/important to us topic. This is the first one that we discussed. 


In today's world this is something that isn't always easy to see. We wanted to look at what God said were the roles of the household and it wasn't surprising to me because we are living mostly this way but I know for some, these things aren't always easy to hear.

Let's first start with the husband's role.

Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:4

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his boy, of which he is the Savior.

Ephesians 5:23

Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.

Ephesians 5:28-29

These verses show us that our husband's are the leader of the household. They are the decision makers. They are to lead us to where we are suppose to be going. They are to do this the way the Christ leads the church! They are not to be patronizing, cruel, or abusive about it. That is not leading the way God intended it to be. I think that many women have fallen to believe that we are all equal's and that we have as much say as our husbands but that is not how God created our families to be. When you have to many leaders in one place it only leads to disaster. 

Don't get me wrong I have a voice and I speak up and let my husband know how I feel about many topics. Some very important and others that are not so important. The thing that I have come to understand and used in our house is that once I have expressed myself to him, he gets to make the final decision. It's not always easy. There are times when I wonder if he is making the right choice for us but I turn it over to God. I know that I'm following what God has said to do and trust He will take care of us. Since I started doing this and showing M that I trust him to make the decisions in the house and that I will not fight him on it, our house has changed for the better. He really considers every side before jumping into a decision. He takes into consideration what I have to say. He knows that know matter what he decides I will be there with him and I will not throw it in his face if he makes a mistake but rather be there to help get things back together. It has created a peace in our household. We aren't fighting about things and we are trusting each other. 

I have shared before that M is a non-believer but God doesn't say that this changes anything. Does this make it harder sometimes to trust M's decisions, Oh Yea! I know that he's not seeking God's direction for us. That's the most difficult part about letting him lead our house. I know that we will have rough patches to go through because of it. My only hope in this situation is that God knows the ending! He knows where we will end up and He doesn't want to do us harm. I love this and remind myself of this many times to get through things.

As long as we follow God's roles and let our husbands be the true leaders of the house we will be allowing our husband's to fulfill what God has called them to do. I think this is amazing! We can take so much stress and worry off ourselves and help our husband's follow God's plan for their life. Isn't it amazing how God created it that way! Love it!

Now for her (our) roles!

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

Genesis 2:18

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 2:22-24

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Colossians 3:18

Most women that I know are afraid of the word submit. It sounds like a scary word in today's world, however, if you consider what God is asking us it isn't as scary as it first looked. I talked about this above. By allowing M to make the decisions for the house I am submitting to him. I'm not only allowing him to fulfill his purpose as a man but I'm fulfilling mine as a woman. God has called me to submit to my husband. It's hard to embrace. I came from a household where my mom was more of the leader than my dad was. It wasn't the best example for me by any means. M has come from a horrible family background as well but somehow we have been able to embrace these things that God expects from us, even though he doesn't admit that it's God's way, and our marriage is much stronger than our parents and creating a safe place for our children to grow and learn from a more stable example. 

Dictionary.com defines submit as to give over or yield to the power or authority of another. This sounds like what God is explaining when he uses the example of the church submitting to Christ. Acknowledge and surrender are two words that we could switch with submit and maybe they would be less scary. It's OK to change the words around so you can understand them better as long as the meaning is the same. 

This isn't our only role as a wife. God created us to be our husbands helper! I love to think of myself as my husbands helper, well most days. I love the fact that I can be home to help raise our child (soon to be children), that I can create a great home that he can walk into and feel relaxed after a hard days work and rejuvenation for the next day, that I can cook for him and that he can just enjoy family time. It's also great to be able to talk to him through out the day when work is stressing him out and he needs to vent or talk through some ideas. This isn't something that I could do if I was working. Most days this is a great feeling for me. The days that are hard are when I'm sick or tired (this pregnancy has kicked my butt) and when he seems to take advantage of what I do. He does forget to acknowledge all my hard work. He does forget to say thank you a lot of the times but I'm not always doing these things for him. There are times when I'm doing these things for Him and sometimes only through His strength! It's an awesome feeling to be struggling and then pray and then see the things change because I'm no longer acting only in my power. 

Either way we were created to be our husband's helper and we are required by God to submit to our husbands. It's not an easy job but by doing it we are fulfilling what God has asked of us, helping our husbands in what they are called to do, and most important how could we disobey God after all He has done for us? I mean He sent His Son to die for us so we wouldn't have to suffer the pain and punishment for our sins. How amazing is that? How could we not do everything we can to help Him create the world and family structure that he wants? God is so amazing and I'm so glad that I know Him so well and am able to have a relationship with Him.

Please share your thoughts! I want to hear what you have to say! I would love to have great discussions after these posts!