The Art of the Parenting See-Saw

Have you ever noticed that parenting can sometimes feel like you are on a see-saw with your little one? It's something I thought about a few days ago as I was struggling through some behavior with Monkey. 

There aren't too many times that I have really struggled with Monkey and behavior. He's really a good kid that doesn't test the boundary lines too often. But when he does it comes from all sides and for several days at least. Most of the time I can get him back to normal pretty quickly.

I started to think about 'Nice Mommy' vs. 'Mean Mommy' and how I seem to go back and forth between the two depending on how my boys are behaving. Now I'm not saying I'm screaming one second and smiling and happy the next. I'm talking about how we can go weeks having fun with a few talks here and there about behavior but overall I can trust Monkey do choose to do the right thing and follow the rules I have put in place.

But then we will have times like we are having currently where every day I'm having to remind him of the same rule over and over...like don't play in the water outside without permission. Over and over this week we have talked about this. We discussed how we only play in the water when it's warm enough outside, when we don't have other plans that day, and when mommy gives permission. Finally, I had it. He tested this boundary line one to many times. See I started off being on the Nice Mommy side of the see-saw. Explaining why we have the rule, giving grace for boyhood curiosity and fun-seeking behavior. But each day he tested me the see-saw started to move. Each day I had to get more and more strict with my words until finally the Mean Mommy see-saw hit the ground and something had to be done to make him know I was serious about this rule.

So when I saw Monkey and Goose out by the water with it turned on full blast and the process of a giant mud lake in the making I knew that there needed to be more of a punishment than just a discussion. Nice Mommy had to step aside. They had lost their chance to learn this rule with her. As I watched and figured out what path I was going to take Monkey bent his legs and prepared to jump. I tried to get the words out in time but he was flying the in air before I had a chance. But he didn't go straight up. The mud under his boot slipped as he was pushing off so he was flying forward on the way to do a belly flop right into the mud lake they had created. And this was why this rule was created. Mommy needed to be prepared for wet muddy clothing. I needed to have the time to clean their clothes and for them to shower. And this was not one of those times. So Mean Mommy called out to turn the water off and to get their cute little behinds into the house now. They striped down out of their wet clothes and got sent to their room. Both were grounded to their beds until I said otherwise.

Mean Mommy's  open-ended threat of "until I say" was enough to make them wonder just how long they would be stuck on their bed with books. But this mommy had things to take care of now that I hadn't planned on. I now had muddy clothes that needed tending to. I had muddy dogs wondering through my house. After I completed everything that was muddy I went into the boys room and the see-saw moved again. It was now time for Nice Mommy to return to talk through why they were in trouble and explain to them why Mean Mommy had to discipline them. Goose was grounded to his bed until after nap time and Monkey was grounded through the day. Since Mean Mommy came out and their was a more strict form of discipline for his disobedience neither one has touched the water outside. They have remembered to ask before they try but so far it hasn't been warm enough for me to reward them with a yes answer for following the rules.

Have you ever noticed that parenting can seem like your riding a see-saw with your kids. One minute you can be on top of the world having a lot of fun and enjoying life with them and then the next minute you have to stop the fun and bring in the mean mom. I love being a mom even if it is like riding a see-saw every day. I don't mind having to stop the fun some times in order to help teach my boys how to follow rules, how to choose the right thing over the wrong. I love taking every day moments and turn them into teachable moments even if that means that mean mommy has to make an appearance every so often. Of course the real art of this parenting see-saw is to make sure the nice mommy is always the main mommy my boys know. I don't want them to grow up thinking that I was a mean mom to them. I want them to look back and remember fun times of playing and laughing and learning together. I also want them to look back at those teachable moments when the more strict side of mommy had to come through and be thankful that I taught them the important lessons they will hold dear when they are grown.

Please tell me what you think about about my parenting see-saw and how you juggle being a nice mommy vs. a mean mommy.